What do you think is important for a happy relationship between a couple? What’s the secret of a hearty relationship that happy couples have? First and foremost, it is important to spend some time with your partner before you go to sleep. It doesn’t matter how much time you have to be together: for an hour or just a few minutes. If it is just the two of you enjoying each other’s company talking and showing your love that is all you need.
How to strengthen the connection between your partner and you? How to make sure that your relationship stays as warm as it was at the very dawn of your partnership? I know you are curious to know so here are some effective bits of advice from well-known psychologists about being the habits happy couples do before they call it a night.
Tip #1 Switch your phones to silent mode and put them away
Social media dependency suppresses the release of oxytocin or as it is also called the love hormone in your body. This hormone is exactly what’s responsible for emotional intimacy and bonding. Also, it ensures the trust partners have in each other. Psychotherapist Carol Carey suggests following a simple rule: turn off your phones or put them away exactly at 9 PM.
Tip #2 Forget about work
Try to not think about work and stop checking your work email when you’re in bed. It is much better to spend that time together and have some rest. That can be productive at work. The following day’s pillow talk connects couples emotionally. It helps you to get distracted by problems and makes you feel relaxed. Avoid talking about work and financial troubles or anything else that can make your partner feel tense and worried.
Tip #3 Go to bed at the same time as your partner
Many people in a relationship don’t see each other all day long and have a habit of going to bed at a different time. As many as 75% of couples do this on a regular basis. Usually because one of the partners’ works, watches TV, surfs the internet and it doesn’t seem like a big deal but according to psychologist Curt Smith, happy couples brush their teeth together and go to the bed at the same time. It helps them keep alive the comfort and intimacy of their relationship.
Tip #4 Happy Couples Follow a Routine
Following the same bedtime regime, every day helps you to sleep sound and better. While following a familiar schedule, your brain receives a signal of the approaching bedtime and prepares your body for sleep. If you follow this same regime together with your partner, it will shape your relationship into being more intimate, trustworthy and everlasting.
Tip #5 Have a Heart-To-Heart Talk
Pay attention to each other’s feelings. There’s no need to give advice or unasked immediate solutions to the problems. Sometimes we just want to talk and feel the care and support of our loved ones. Psychologist Ryan House suggests dedicating a few minutes to express warm feelings towards your partner before going to sleep. This will help to end the day on a positive note and to make you feel better. It also has a positive influence on your overall mood. It has been scientifically proven that when you sincerely express your gratitude to the person you love, it provokes an immediate spike of your feelings of happiness trying to ignore about everything that happened that day and leave all of your problems and concerns outside the bedroom door. Happy couples always tell how much they love each other. It is essential to be serious and honest when you express your feelings.
Tip #6 Happy Couples Do not Argue or Get Into a Heated Conversation
This advice is given by people who have been married for 40 to 50 years and more. Their experience tells them that no disagreement is worth more than a day’s fight. Kurt Smith reminds us to try to not involve ourselves in heated arguments before going to sleep. Fighting on bed never helps to solve a problem and on top of that, it’s harder for both of you to fall asleep and you will feel depressed the next day.
Tip #7 Keep Your Bedroom Child-Free
Yet another psychologist Michael Viner Davis is sure that the only time you can let your children sleep in your bed is when they’re having a nightmare. At all other times, your bedroom should be your private space. You need to have that space for the two of you to maintain your intimacy. What is more, it has been proven that sleeping with children deteriorates the quality of your rest and human stance. As a matter of fact, sleep deprivation is much worse than food deprivation.
Tip #8 Don’t Drink Alcohol or Smoke
Many couples prefer to have a glass of wine before going to bed to create a romantic atmosphere. However, while your body is digesting alcohol, the rejuvenating period of your sleep becomes shorter. 27 studies on the topic have shown that alcohol makes the period we need to fall asleep shorter in the duration of deep sleep. The second half of the night of a person who has drunk alcohol before going to bed is full of restless, disturbed sleep which makes them feel tired, distracted, easily annoyed when they wake up in the morning. Alcohol also makes snoring more likely and as for nicotine and cigarettes, it’s a known fact that it promotes insomnia. It is quite common that smokers tend to wake up more often during the night so it is bound to affect your partner and the rest of all sleep.
Tip #9 Give Each Other A Massage
Experts from the National Foundation of Sleep confirm that a light relaxing and steamy massage before going to bed is highly beneficial. It improves the quality of your sleep, reduces anxiety and brings couples closer together. In fact, research has been conducted by the scientists at Northumbria University where 19 couples took a three-week course of massage. After completing it. 91% of participants were eager to recommend this type of mutual treatment to relatives and friends. 74% turned such massage sessions into their daily routine. The most interesting thing is the fact that emotional state, as well as physical well-being, improved relating both for the partner who gave and received the message.
Tip #10 Happy Couples Don’t Forget About Hug and Kisses
Remember to kiss your partner goodnight before going to sleep as well as to cuddle for a few minutes when you are already in bed always evokes positive emotions. Psychologists are confident that if you hug during falling asleep, your relationship is not in trouble. David Clow, a family therapist advises the couples that have issues with communication to hug each other. It allows the partners to feel that their better half understands them even if they can’t express their feelings with words. At the very least even a 10-second hug is powerful enough to make your health better. It helps your body to overcome infections improves your immune system reduces stress heat eliminates depression.