Divorce is an extremely stressful situation, but it’s especially difficult for children. It’s tough for the kids to understand why it is happening – and it’s not unusual for them to feel guilty. They can be angry, sad, frustrated – and all this might impact their future life in one way or another, especially if you don’t address these issues or do it wrongly. However, this is not the reason to postpone divorce and stay in an unhealthy relationship. You just need to find a way to help your children cope with the changes.
Today, we’re going to help you figure out how to make divorce less stressful for your children. We’ll cover topics mentioned in the majority of divorce resources and guides, such as open communication, regular affirmations, therapy, avoiding blaming one another, active listening, and some more. Read on – and make sure that your child doesn’t get caught in the crossfire of the divorce.
Table of Contents
Why Divorce Is So Difficult for Children
Divorce is a stressful and emotional time for everyone involved, and children are no exception. They may be young, but they feel the pain and stress just as much as adults do – if not more, as they might not fully understand the situation.
That’s why it’s always important to explain it to them in the necessary detail. Even if they are still little, you can find a way to make them understand why this is the best possible solution and how it will benefit everyone.
Kids often blame themselves for the breakup. They might believe that they did something wrong and that’s why their parents aren’t together anymore. Such feelings might lead to low self-esteem and depression. That’s why parents need to explain to the kids that they should not take on such negative thoughts.
There is no right or wrong way to talk to your children about divorce. You just need to be honest and open about the situation. Remember that your child is still a child, and they need constant reassurance and support from you.
How To Make Divorce Less Stressful for Your Child
Open Communication
As we mentioned earlier, kids might get the wrong idea about divorce. It’s important to talk to them about such things as child support, visitation rights, and other important matters. Reassure them that both parents still love them, and they will always be a priority in your life. When it comes to emotions, you need to find the balance – you can talk to your children in a calm and relaxed manner in order to keep the situation under control, but also don’t appear too distanced or indifferent.
Regular Affirmations
Kids also need regular affirmations from both parents. Give your child daily reminders of how much you care about them, how proud you are of them, and how much you love them. Affirmations don’t have to be complicated – you can even use a sticky note on the mirror or refrigerator at home. A small gesture goes a long way in reassuring your child, especially during rough times.
Therapy
If your child is going through a difficult time during a divorce, you might want to consider seeking help from a therapist. A professional can help you better figure out how to deal with the situation and give you some advice on approaching it from a professional point of view. A therapist can also provide individual counseling sessions for your child – which will help them cope with the changes in a healthy manner.
Avoid Blaming One Another
It is vital that you don’t blame one another for the breakup while talking to your children. They should know that you made the decision together, without putting one another down – that way, they won’t feel any additional guilt because of this whole situation. If you fail to stick to this rule, you might experience some problems later on – because your children might grow up thinking that their actions are not acceptable, which will impact their future choices in life.
Active Listening
Active listening is essential when dealing with children during divorce because it allows you to really understand what is going on in their minds. Your kids might be upset that daddy or mommy isn’t around anymore – or that they have different homes now.
You just need to keep an open mind when listening to what they have to say. Don’t interrupt – let them finish their train of thought and then address the issues in an understanding, empathetic manner. This will allow them to feel more comfortable expressing themselves.
Talk About How Things Will Change
Children will need someone to talk to during divorce – so it’s crucial for you to spend some quality time with them after school or work. Even if you are simply cooking dinner together or watching TV, this will show your kids that you care about them – and that you are there for them when it counts the most. Make sure that your children know that nothing has changed in terms of love and parenting.
Avoid Arguing in Front of Your Child
Even though divorce may be highly stressful for everyone involved, you should stay attentive and avoid arguing in front of the children. Try to remain calm at all times when talking about important issues related to divorce – because kids usually pick up on emotions very quickly, which means that they will probably sense when things are tense between parents.
We strongly recommend avoiding public arguments at all times – especially if children are present. Never forget that you are responsible for their well-being – so make sure that they don’t get caught up in your arguments at all times.
Final Thoughts
Divorce can be a very stressful time for families, especially for children. It’s essential to keep them calm and relaxed during the whole process and reassure them that you will always be there for them. Keep in mind that your kids should not be a part of your arguments – you should try to stay calm at all times when talking about important issues. If you fail to do so, it might have a negative impact on your child’s future life.
