Is your partner the best match for you to spend your life with? Relationships that work out, in the long run, depend on respect, trust, understanding, and genuine care.
Here are ten things to look for before deciding if someone is marriage material. You should never marry someone who does these ten things. (Scroll down to read more!)
#1. They’re Made of Excuses
A part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your actions and admitting your mistakes. If your partner is unable or unwilling to learn this lesson, then they’re not ready for a serious relationship.
The way someone talks about their past relationships can tell you a great deal about whether they hold themselves accountable. Take the stories they tell with a grain of salt if they have a long string of failed relationships that all ended because the other person was to blame.
Since a relationship is between two people, both parties have to work at it. You can bet it has something to do with them if your partner hasn’t been able to make it work with anyone else.
#2. They Have a Short Fuse.
Though we can’t always control our tempers, we can control how we express that anger. It’s a major red flag if your partner yells, screams, throws, or breaks things when they’re mad. You may want to think twice before being with them. This behavior is not only childish, but it is also abusive – toddlers throw tantrums, not adults. Don’t ever marry someone who is short-tempered and gets angry on a whim.
#3. They’re Irresponsible
Today, many people stay at home longer due to almost nonexistent job prospects, rising housing costs, and salaries so low that they can’t afford to pay their own rent. During these hard times, living with parents and working can give young adults a great opportunity to save money until they can live independently.
As practical as living at home as an adult can be, it can also lead to immaturity and childishness. In general, you shouldn’t enter into a long-term relationship with someone who has never lived on their own. When someone lives with their parents into their 20’s, they can easily get used to having others do things for them. Their mom still cooks for them and does their laundry: their dad still has to remind them to clean their rooms and take out the trash.
People like this who are always being catered to by their parents might place unfair expectations on you if they get into a relationship with you. There is a ‘give and take’ in relationships between equal partners. Having more of a parental role than being their significant other makes it less of an equal partnership. Never marry someone immature and irresponsible.
#4. They’re Disrespectful
There’s nothing wrong with expressing one’s opinion, and it’s fine if everyone does so. Interrupting, talking over, belittling, and flat-out ignoring your partner are not mature ways to handle disagreements. Respect should be reciprocated between you and them. Pay close attention to how your significant other handles disagreements with others.
People who snap at little things generally aren’t the best to stay in a relationship with for a long time. And your partner needs to respect your boundaries as well if you want to stick it out with them. You shouldn’t keep trying to change your mind about something you do not want to do. Don’t force yourself to open up to them about something you’re uncomfortable discussing. Never marry someone who shows signs of disrespect, and you will never have a fulfilling relationship.
#5. They’re Prone To Possessiveness and Jealousy
“Honeymoon phase” may seem like bliss but can actually create trouble in the future. At first, it seems nice that your partner wants to spend all their free time with you. Having them around makes you feel good, and you like it when they’re around! The attention that you pay shouldn’t take over your entire life or theirs.
A clingy partner who doesn’t like you to spend time with other people is trying to isolate you, which is another sign of abuse.
It is best to either get them professional help or get out as soon as possible if your partner gets jealous easily and shows possessive behavior. If you’re the one who’s jealous and possessive, you need to work on yourself seriously. You don’t need to be in a relationship right now.
#6. They Invade Your Privacy
There’s no need to share information that you would rather keep private. It’s not your partner’s business to know your passwords so they can access your accounts and vice versa.
Snooping on each other’s phones or personal property is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Your partner shouldn’t always suspect you of cheating and need to monitor your texts to ensure you are faithful.
When the person you’re with insists that this behavior is normal for couples, it’s time to leave! This is yet another sign that you may be living with an abusive partner.
If you’re the one exhibiting this behavior, you need to understand that it’s wrong. What is the point of being in a relationship with someone if you don’t trust them?
#7. They Have Double Standards
Don’t expect your partner to give you full access to their privacy if you don’t have to give them all your passwords. Congratulations if you just got a job promotion that requires you to relocate! Do not just expect your partner to move with you if you are not willing to do the same for them.
Neither of you should have to sacrifice for the other. Don’t forget: a good relationship is based on equality, not one person constantly giving to and taking from the other.
#8. Their Core Values Doesn’t Match with Yours
A partner and someone who’s super straight-laced won’t last long in a relationship. The way they spend their free time often reflects completely different values.
Clubbing all night won’t help the straight-laced person accomplish what they want in their life, so their partying partner might hold them back.
You shouldn’t date someone who encourages you to engage in risky behavior, such as binge drinking or drug use. It’s okay to have fun and let loose every once in a while, but if it becomes habitual and self-destructive, then stay away!
#9. They Depend Completely On You
You shouldn’t be with someone who can’t be there for you when you need them most. However, you shouldn’t rely solely on your significant other for help. Most people have friends, family, and coworkers who can provide support.
The problem arises when your partner refuses to build or use this network for support and instead relies entirely and exclusively on you for assistance. The pressure is unfair, and you get alienated from your own support system if they refuse to accept help.
Relationships like this can be extremely draining, so resist the urge to become too dependent on them, overshadowing the need to take care of yourself.
#10. They Hold You Back
To have an equal relationship, you should both help each other grow as individuals. If you’re constantly verbally and emotionally abused by your significant other, who constantly belittles your achievements and criticizes you, then that person is verbally and emotionally abusive.
Knowing how to spot toxic traits in people will help you be able to spot their positive qualities. That’s the complete opposite of all we’ve discussed today! Rather than looking for someone to complete you, search for someone who complements you. As cliche as “you complete me!” sounds, forget about it! You’re already a whole person yourself, not a jigsaw puzzle. One person is not the only one who can put the pieces together for you. The moment you find someone who respects that (and doesn’t do any of the things on the list for today), then you’ve struck gold!
I hope you’ve gained a little insight into toxic relationships through this article. Never marry someone who has all the above-mentioned traits.