If you are just starting on the journey of getting divorced, then this is your lucky day!
There are things you can do to help you start over after a divorce.
Some people say that after they get divorced life begins for them and they find themselves becoming someone better who has more time to do what they want to do.
It’s not always easy but it’s worth it because, in the end, you’ll have a new beginning full of exciting adventures waiting for you. Divorce can be an overwhelming process but with these tips, it should be easier than ever.
After taking the time to compose a detailed list of options, most newly divorced people discover that it makes good sense to liquidate some of their long-term assets and make an informed decision about whether or not to move to a new city. Plus, it helps to map out a strategy for meeting other single adults, and possibly seek professional counseling to deal with the emotional distress that often follows a divorce. If you’re facing the next phase of your life after the end of a marriage, here are some details about what you can do to move on.
Table of Contents
Don’t go overboard
While it’s very tempting to start afresh, throwing all your old ways out the window and reinventing yourself is not always an option (nor should it be necessary). While some aspects of your life may need a reboot, don’t change so significantly that you start alienating those around you. This means don’t radically alter your outlook on life or start doing things differently from everyone else just because you’re no longer married – especially if they have been a part of who you are for years. It isn’t realistic to think that you can start over after a divorce in every aspect of your life.
Sell Your Life Insurance Policy
Many newly divorced adults don’t realize that they can cash in their life insurance policies and use the money for whatever they want. Using a process called a life settlement, policyholders can collect cash and never have to worry about paying premiums again. The best first step is to review a helpful online guide that includes all the pertinent details about how to initiate the process and get your money in less than a week. There’s no reason to let your new circumstances put you in a financial bind when selling an existing policy to a third party can funnel much-needed funds into your bank account.
Decide to Move or Stay Put
If your job allows you the freedom to move to a brand-new city, consider the option carefully. Lots of newly single people discover that a simple change of geographical location, scenery, and climatic conditions can go a long way toward a total reset of old attitudes and emotional outlooks. There’s no right answer to this typical dilemma because it’s often wise to stay put when you have a large network of family and friends in your current location. And if you need to think about how to make the change less stressful for any involved children, sometimes staying put supports that goal.
Use a Cooling Off Period Before Dating Again
The amount of time you wait before becoming socially active is up to you. However, the majority of divorced men and women find that it’s smart to wait at least three months before diving back into the social scene as an available single. Of course, you might discover that a bit less or more than the standard 90-day cooling off period works best. In general, the longer you were married, the more time you’ll need to readjust your lifestyle to adapt to dating.
Do not rush into your old life
While it may seem like a good idea to start doing the things you used to do before getting married, don’t start back up if those activities won’t help you start over after a divorce. If they were part of your old lifestyle (and not who you were), then it’s probably best that you leave them behind for now. Instead of going out on the weekends or watching TV or porn all night, start trying new things and putting yourself in different situations – go to lectures or expos, start cooking more and exercise your social skills at parties even if there isn’t anyone there you know. Just like with dating, make sure these new experiences are healthy ones – try taking classes at local community centers or meetups near your house instead of sticking to your old ways.
Don’t start over with the same people you were with before
This is probably one of the most important things to take into consideration when starting over after a divorce – start fresh instead of rehashing what went wrong. If you start hanging out with your old ‘friends’, don’t expect them to give up their lives just because you’re divorced now. And if they do start acting different, that could mean trouble since they may start resenting you for getting divorced or trying to act like your ex-spouse (or both). While it’s okay to talk about the divorce at first, don’t let it become a constant conversation, and definitely try not to talk about your partner all night long otherwise you’ll look sad and pathetic. Get new friends instead of doing the same thing you did before your marriage ended.
Be open and honest with yourself first
Before you start on a journey of self-discovery and change remember to start by being honest about the things going on in your life. If you start off dishonest, how can you hope to have a more fulfilling life? Take an inventory of all the good and bad things in your life so you know which areas need attention. Once it’s out there in front of you start making changes where necessary.
Figure out what brings fulfillment to your life
Whether it’s volunteering at local soup kitchens or reaching personal goals like finishing grad school or running marathons start figuring out what makes you happy outside of work. If you start working more hours and neglecting your hobbies and interests outside of work then you start resenting your job and wanting to go home. You start living for the weekends or start taking vacation days even when you don’t need them so you can get away from the office. Make sure all areas of your life are equally fulfilling so that if one starts lacking it doesn’t start bringing down the rest of your life.
Identify who is important in your life
It’s easy to start letting people fill roles after a divorce that they may not be equipped for or start becoming dependent on someone because you’re uncertain of yourself now that things are different. Make sure the people you surround yourself with know how much they mean to you and start asking more of them if need be – there will always be times when we need others, don’t start taking advantage of friends and family just because things got shaken up.
Start reaching out to friends and family
Whether just starting or coming back from divorce it’s important to start rebuilding friendships with those who aren’t your family members because they’re going to be there for support just like a family would, but also because friends and family shouldn’t be an either/or proposition. You should always have people to come home to.
Don’t start over with the same habits that caused the divorce
This is more for those who are still trying to get their life on track after getting divorced – don’t start doing things that may have contributed to the demise of your marriage again. If it got bad enough for your partner to want out, don’t start drinking heavily or staying out late at bars because chances are they won’t stick around if you start back up. Likewise, start working on these unhealthy habits so you can keep yourself in check when starting fresh after a divorce.
Leverage the Power of Support Groups and Counseling
Consider joining a support group, therapy, or taking advantage of professional counseling to ease yourself back into a normal, healthy daily routine. Most groups are sponsored by social service agencies and cost nothing to join. Counseling sessions are typically offered on a sliding scale, so check your local area for providers you feel comfortable with.
Remember: it’s okay to start over!
Divorce can shake up anyone’s world and maybe even make some rethink what was really important before the breakup but at the end of it, all remember that whatever happened during your relationship is over, start with a clean slate and start moving forward with your life. Don’t be afraid to start fresh after a divorce because it’s the only way to get back on track!
