Parisians kiss all the time, while Hollywood movies are famous for this.
French kissing conveys passion and desire for some people, while others find it unhygienic. If you don’t like kissing with your tongue or don’t like kissing at all, that’s totally fine.
Whatever the reason, you’ve probably gotten to the point where you’re asking yourself, “I don’t like French kissing. How do I handle it?”
Here’s the scoop on French tongue kissing, how it differs from all other types of kissing, and how to politely refuse a kiss.
So what exactly is French kissing?
The French tongue kiss involves kissing or sucking the tongue. Essentially, it is the ‘sexual form’ of a normal kiss. It conveys seduction, desire, and passion.
This kiss was actually termed ‘French’ since Paris refers to love, and French people are renowned for their sexuality.
World War I started the kiss. American and British servicemen were smitten by the way French ladies kissed. On their return, they introduced their partners to the passionate kissing style.
A French kiss can really arouse your partner. Many couples like to kiss and make out before getting into the deed.
But, if you’re not into it, don’t do the French kiss. A partner’s tongue shoved inside their mouth might not be to everyone’s taste. Luckily, there are a lot of steamy kissing styles that you could try. Find one that you like and go with that.
French Kissing vs. Traditional Kissing
The kiss has become a big part of a relationship and is the most effective way to celebrate love.
A recent study suggests that kissing frequency is a strong indication of intimacy. So, you’ll be happier as a couple if you kiss a lot.
Even though French kisses are an excellent way to spice up a relationship, not everyone loves them.
On the other hand, a traditional kiss is when you just press your lips together. Although it’s simpler, it’s still romantic and intimate.
A French kiss should not be mistaken for a smooch, as smooching involves sucking your partner’s lips, while French kissing involves more tongue action.
As French kisses are usually deeper and more passionate, they can’t be done publicly and are illegal in many places, unlike normal kissing.
Why Some Don’t Like French Kissing
There are a few reasons why some people don’t like the sloppy French kissing:
Young couples like to play around with intimacy and try new things. Maybe you didn’t like French kissing with your ex and won’t do it with anyone anymore because they ruined it by using a bad technique.
A lack of intimacy
French kissing can fail badly when partners aren’t physically, emotionally, and sexually close. Instead of feeling close and romantic, you will feel disgusted and weird.
Not taking it slow
Generally, people French kiss whenever they are alone. Although a French kiss is pretty sexy, it is not something one would like to do constantly. There’s a perfect time for everything.
When kissing, men get aggressive and dominant. French kissing already is a steamy action. Doubling it with aggressiveness? A big NO! Role-playing doesn’t appeal to everyone.
It is a phobia of getting in contact with anything that carries germs.
According to a Dutch study, two people exchange 80 million bacteria while French kissing for ten seconds. The saliva exchange moment in a French kiss puts most people with germaphobia on edge.
Is It Normal To Not Like French Kisses?
French kissing does not appeal to a lot of couples. Often, one partner wants to French kiss, but the other doesn’t.
So, is it normal that you don’t like French kissing, but your partner does? Yeah, it happens way more in relationships than you think, and there is nothing wrong with it.
Intimate actions and kissing are personal preferences. Some prefer smooching, some prefer French kissing, and some might like other styles of intimacy. It’s normal to enjoy or dislike any specific kiss style.
Everyone has a unique taste and preference and expresses their emotions differently. So, a French kiss cannot be a universal preference.
Remember, the best kind of kiss is always the one that is okay for both you and your partner.
How to Deal With a French Kiss (The Right Way)
Does your relationship suffer from an awkward French kiss? Does one of you feel uncomfortable when tongue kissing is part of the intimacy? Don’t worry!
There are a few ways you can handle a french kiss:
Tell your partner what you like
There was a question on Quora, “Characters make the french kiss look so enjoyable and passionate, but in reality, I hate it.” Communication is the key to all problems and differences.
To help your partner better understand you, make sure you communicate what you like and don’t like.
Show them the type of kiss you like
If your lover thinks they can’t have erotism and intimacy without sticking their tongue in your mouth, then prove them wrong!
Make yourself the boss by kissing them first. It’s a good idea to bite or suck their lips and touch their sensitive spots to get them going.
Find common ground
If you don’t mind some tongue action every now and then, you can compromise a bit. Let your partner know when and how you would like to kiss them with your tongue. Here, effective communication is the key to making this work.
Do’s & Don’ts of French kissing
Do Brush your teeth. Nothing ruins a kiss faster than a breath that smells like onion. That’s a big turnoff. Pop a mint or rinse your mouth.
Don’t be aggressive. You don’t have to shove your tongue inside your partner’s mouth to give them a good French kiss. Although it involves 29 muscles, it is all about expressing passion and affection.
Do foreplay. French kissing begins with foreplay. Rather than spitting saliva, try gently moving your tongue to add the right degree of eroticism to the kiss.
Don’t be lazy. Don’t lounge around. An intimate moment should involve both partners equally and inactivity while kissing is an absolute turnoff.
Do include the rest of the body. French kissing is more than just tongue actions. During kissing, touching certain body parts, such as the neck, face, or intimate areas, can stimulate both partners. You might even try a full-body kiss.
How to Politely Decline a French Kiss
The first time someone reaches out for a French kiss, it can be difficult to react. While you don’t wish to participate in the kiss, you may feel compelled to do so.
If you don’t want a French kiss, there are ways to politely decline.
Stand up for yourself, be upfront and express your true feelings. Rather than being submissive and uncomfortable, it is better to voice your opinion.
This can be done politely by saying something like, “No, thank you,” or “I’m not comfortable with that.”
Do not be rude – Your rejection doesn’t have to be rude. Put yourself in their shoes, then figure out a polite way to decline. You may want to say ‘I’d like to have you as my friend’ rather than ‘Boy, stay away from me!’ or ‘I don’t want to go further.’
State your intentions directly and come clean.
Use body language
You can turn your head away or avoid eye contact if you are unsure about kissing. If you don’t want them to kiss you, you can cross your arms or up your hand.
While kissing a French person can be a fun and intimate experience, there are ways to deal with it if you’re not a fan.
If you still believe – I don’t like French kissing, know that you are not alone. There could be any number of reasons why you might not like French kisses. One reason might be that you fear intimacy. Or a person’s saliva makes you queasy. Or maybe you just don’t enjoy the sensation of lips and tongues touching.
You can always tell your partner what you like and don’t like and experiment with different types of kisses until you find something that works for both of you.